Life

Well, I don't know. I enjoy the way it is most of the time, even though I acknowledge problems with the world and obvious improvements that could be made. I just don't see myself ever making a measurable difference. I'm generally almost overwhelmed when something works out the way I want it to, so much so that the smallest of things will keep me quite satisfied and from jumping in front of a train.

When something goes wrong it's generally not worse than I expected, so I guess that tells you a thing to two about how bad my general expectations are in life: as long as anything goes even remotely the way I'd like it to, I'll have something to smile about. It also helps when you don't make plans or expect things to work out in your favor.

And when everything does go wrong, there's always relief in knowing one day you won't have to deal with it anymore.

Maybe

if i
stay up all night every night
you'll sleep better

if i
sleep more all day every day
there'll be fewer mistakes

if i
speak less
you'll forget

if i
showed you everything
there'd be something else


there's only one way to find out
i guess

Music

all these sounds that belong in
different places, times
my head bursting at the seams
from all these memories

All your words that need saying sound like nothing more than redundant repetition void of meaning.

[my] Life is a series of mediocrely unhealthy relationships.

What is the point if one does not embrace their arbitrary decisions?

[And] the irony of hating something so similar to yourself.

I am but

another imperfect system
incomplete in its functions
crippled by needs, wants, desires
blinded by longing
mourning, yearning
rusting up without proper care
growing old; becoming
obsolete

taking so long
waiting, hesitating
not knowing

so much of
not enough

like
superglue
holding miniature models together
commands
binding entities into sets

until
someone drops it
the system crashes